LIFE SEL-FIE

How could it be so hard to put on an outfit and go out  the door? How could it be so hard to go to a party you were invited to? How could it be so hard to just be a normal student? Basic things should just be hell for you! Screams the society...Phew! Frustration at not having things exactly as I want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation. As if I were the only one suffering or making mistakes, after all the very definition of being human means I'm mortal,vulnerable and imperfect.

Not worrying about what people say sounds cliché, yes I know......and why should I really? when there's never a single side to a story, but human beings around can't seem to understand this, a question of intelligence i guess;a major characteristics humans exhibit, mutation occurs; we don't use up to 0.1% of our brain;science has explanations for everything and it's okay, so I think it's justified., and not that I'm giving an exception to myself or whatnot;that's being a ridiculous clown because Intelligent people might even find this rants of mine dumb. It's allowed*winks*

If I walked by a stranger and he gave me a dirty look, trusted someone with my whole heart and was betrayed,or cared for people who don't care about my dead body;I thought it meant something was wrong with me,however  what I'm realizing is that none of it has anything to do with me. Somethings go on well,others do not;there are I have factors little or no control over; factors like my environmental conditions. Traumatic events of the past and bullshits....these are obstacles that cause sufferings and not the things I deserved or brought upon myself.

The unpredictability of bad things is enough to make me crazy, just like the rat in the cage who never knows when the electric shock will zap him and this is why I have compassion on  myself... An antidote to the shame I often feel when I fail to meet the standards I set for myself or that the society sets for me;standards that are often not realistically attainable.It makes me aware that I have weaknesses and areas in need of improvement,without fearing that these weaknesses of mine make me unworthy of love or mean that I'm totally flawed. I extend compassion to myself  for any and very mistake I might have made in the past as no one lives a life free of mistakes.No,I'm not consoling myself with the "other people make mistakes" thingy,I don't let myself off the hook too easily.I ask myself what led to the mistakes and what I learned from them,the point is not to beat myself up,but to gain valuable information.

Even when I fall off the wagon,compassion is what I feel instead of criticism,when I don't do well as I hoped,it's still okay.This is to be expected and doesn't mean that my goal is hopeless or that I'm a hopeless person;I cannot always be or get exactly what I want,and when this reality is fought against suffering increases in the form of stress,frustration and self criticism.So I accept my reality with sympathy and kindness,resulting to an emotional equilibrium within; this result also has to do with me taking a balanced approach to my negative emotions so that my feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated,I observe this emotion with clarity so that it is held in a mindful awareness, I can't ignore my pain and feel compassion for it at the same time;no one in the world knows my feelings and hurts as well as I do,I know all the intricacies and tendrils of the, first-hand and up close...I know what and how to feel excuse me.

I've learned that great things come from bad times even though it sounds like whatever you think....You learn who your friends are,you discover your own resilience,you become more  empathetic,you take a new direction and the list goes on. By releasing the clutch on living a problem free life;there's this enjoyment of a true sense of freedom and peace.You allow life come at you with all it has to offer;good,bad and ugly you gratefully accept and embrace all of it literally,no; not figuratively or I could make it easy RASTICALLY!